Ladies, if you're signing up to be on a reality TV show with your significant other, you might as well get his name tattooed across your forehead. It's a kiss of death; you guys are screwed. Jessica, you dropped a couple of lbs with your Newlywed fortune, thought you were too big for your breeches, and started setting your sights on the likes of Johnny Knoxville and John Mayer (solid choices, Jess). Linda, Hogan didn't know best after all, because you started prowling around with a cub. Kate, please see below. Carmen, you're fine. You guys wouldn't have stood a chance regardless of filming 'Til Death do us Part'. Shanna Moakler, you know it's not good when your ex starts dating Paris Hilton post-breakup. Britney, who was Womanizer written after? Oh, and Heidi, here is your bleak future. We're just saying.
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